Recently...

I've been listening a lot to the Psalms album that Sovereign Grace Music put out.  And let me just tell you, God has been so faithful to speak to me through those songs.  I've recently been feeling very far away from God.  It was really hard because I felt so close to Him throughout the summer, when I had lots of time to read my Bible and really dig into what God was working on in my life.  Then life happened, work started again, and I got busy.  So busy that all my wonderful plans for getting up early and reading my Bible flew right out the window.  It got to the point that even when I remembered, "Oh yeah, I should probably read my Bible," I just didn't feel like it and ultimately would find something else to do to keep me "busy."  Last week, the Lord really ministered to me during church.  We sang one of the songs from the Psalms album called, "Out of the Depths," and I really felt like it was written just for me to sing to my Savior.  Here are the lyrics...

Out of the depths, O Lord, I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands

So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You, my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You

The secret mysteries belong to You
We only know what You reveal
And all my questions that are unresolved
Don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
My hope is in the cross
Where Your compassions never fail

I love the words in this song...the promises that it reminds me of.  Read through it again..."And all my questions that are unresolved...Don't change the wisdom of your will."  How good of God to remind me of that?  I am so easily tempted to despair...and a lot of times its hard for me to rest in God's perfect will and to wait for Him.  As I've been listening to this song and asking God for help, I have become so very aware of some very potent sin in my life.  In particular, anger and bitterness.  Anger is something that I've always really struggled with...when I was little I was very open about it.  You know, stomping off to my room, yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs, throwing mega fits and telling people, "I HATE YOU!"  Thankfully, I don't tend to throw those kind of fits anymore(well at least not nearly as often), but anger is still a HUGE struggle.  But its more of a silent struggle.  I let anger seep in my heart and I cherish it, until I'm not only angry at someone but bitter.  Horribly, awfully bitter.  I recently was convicted of a specific situation where I was letting my anger and bitterness, over something so small and silly, rob me of my joy and of my love for someone.  Thankfully God enabled me to humble myself and confess to that person and ask forgiveness...and what a freedom it brought!  I was immediately at peace and my joy in the Lord and my love for that person was even greater than it was before!  God is so faithful and so amazing that He loves me and cares for me even when I fail miserably!  

Anyway, I know this is kind of jumbled, and probably doesn't make too much sense, but I just wanted to share about our wonderful Savior and his amazing faithfulness to sinners like me.  I hope you are encouraged...that even when you are in the depths of sin, or just in a dry season, God never fails to hear our prayers.  Wait for Him. For He alone is trustworthy.